lucky

Mark and I sometimes talk about our ceremony and the wonder of it. I know that every wedding is perfect in their own way but when you truly, truly prepare your heart for it, nothing can go wrong.


The greatest compliment we ever received was from our friend, Marvin. He told us, "Pag kinasal ako, gagawin ko lahat ng ginawa niyo. Church, reception, food. Kasi ok na lahat eh. Di ko na kailangang isipin kung ano ang ok. Di na ako mahihirapan."


We were lucky because of our family who gave not just their support but their whole love every step of the way. We were lucky because of our friends who are still our friends even if we asked them huge favors. We were lucky with our ninongs and ninangs whom we now see as our second, third, fourth, fifth parents and who see us as their own children. We were lucky with our spiritual advisor, Ms. Marcy, who opened our eyes to what our marriage meant to us. We were lucky with every supplier we got because they gave more than we ever hoped for. We were lucky for our guests who braved the travel to Tagaytay and who smiled and kissed and hugged us a lot. And we were lucky, not just because we met, but moreso because we decided and committed to one another in the presence of God and our family.


The reason why I'm a bit nostalgic is because our wedding anniversary is coming up and I realized that we don't get to think about all the people who helped often enough.


And so, for all those reading this and wanting to get married, here's some unsolicited advice. We didn't ask for advice either but hearing this from others did help us.

1) Get to the core of why you want to get married. When asked this question by Tita Marcy, we were taken aback a little. Parang first time lang na may nagtanong sa amin nang diretso. But when we each told her our reasons, it was also just then that we found the answer. We knew it but we didn't outright say it. Maganda ring sabihin kasi mas nagiging sigurado ka rin.

2) The ceremony (whatever religious beliefs you hold) is important more than the celebration. In our case, we held our Catholic ceremony in a small chapel, surrounded by everyone whom we held and who held us important. Marriage, as Ms. Marcy said, is truly a vocation. In front of God, you are asking Him to give grace to your marriage. And by grace, we don't mean happy-ever-afters, but His presence in the highs and lows of your marriage. And that is also precisely the reason why we look to God, because as humans, both husband and wife will commit mistakes. But with God's grace (presence) and with the guidance of all the people who love you, you are corrected and shown the right path. So it's not just the ceremony, they're not just the guests. When Mark and I said our vows, I truly felt everyone else also committed their love and support for us individually and as a couple. Imagine that! In a way, I married not just Mark but also every person who loved him :)

3) On the wedding day itself, let go and just enjoy. Savor every moment, every smile, every hug, every greeting. Funny that our wedding day seemed to pass in a daze but when we I think about it, I remember the details pala. It wasn't perfect, there were still opportunities for improvement, as they say in training. But it was perfect for me :)

4) Read through your wedding vows before the ceremony. Individually, and together. Because during the ceremony itself, you'll get caught up in all the emotions and you can't really know for sure of you'll be too nervous or too weepy. But during the quieter times, as you're going through the meaning of every word days before the celebration, you take into your heart the deeper message your vows mean to you. We even said our vows to each other, just the two of us, reading our misalette. And in so many ways, it was the most real we got in our "wedding".

5) Lots of people who love you want to help - let them :) We were so lucky that we didn't need a day coordinator yet everything went on fine. My sister Polly looked over the whole ceremony and reception. Our moms and Ate Mich looked over preps in the venue. My brother carried flowers to and from the chapel. My teammate Monica arranged the processional. My good friend Chrise and cousins sang for us. Our friend Ramil was the host. Kuya Jojo drove for us and lent his car. Mark's friend, Patrick, lent his car for Mark. Even my Dad arranged seats in the chapel. These tiny little things were huge gifts for us. We didn't worry about a thing on the day itself and we proved that we were truly, truly loved. Sino pa ang magmamalasakit diba? And so, I also vowed to my friends that can ask me to do anything on their wedding days, too.

6) Gifts come in many packages. While we received some nice gifts, their presence and support were great gifts, too.

7) Give large tips to the waiters and photographers, specially for excellent service. This advice was given to us by Ate Mich, because she knew first-hand how maasikaso they were.

8) Marry the "right" person for the "right" reason :)