Lord of the Rings

I have my very own Lord of the Rings, and I don’t mean the DVD.

This saga of epic proportions started when Mark and I got engaged. See, Mark proposed to me by just saying he wanted to get married. In the car, going to a mall (I think). No big dinner, no fireworks, and no ring. And I must admit I was a little bit disappointed. Not because of the absence of a ring but with the absence of a transition, a passing of sorts. That act when he would formally ask me and I would say yes. When I thought about it in retrospect, though, I rationalized my disappointment by thinking that it was just as well, since we were saving up for the wedding and the house and future expenses we still didn’t know.

We got married and such joy to have our wedding rings to symbolize our vows to each other. I never took mine off. He sometimes forgets and I chide him that he was cavorting with a married woman.

Now, girls being girls, I still wanted to invest in jewelry. I bought diamond earrings and just told Mark I forked out a formidable sum after the fact, since I knew jewelry was not high on his list of priorities and that he might tell me not to buy it anymore. After I did tell him, he went on about him not giving much attention to jewelry because unlike other things, like a bigger TV, a PSP or new mags for the car, jewelry does not have any practical value. And so I took it all in, but added that I do like jewelry, specially the ones my lola, mom and aunts gave me and that I bought the earrings because it was something I saw myself giving my own daughter.

Last Christmas, when we weren’t supposed to give gifts (because we wanted to save, after all), I gave him a watch that he wanted to buy for so long. And because he felt guilty, he wanted to buy me a cellphone --- which I didn’t want. A fight even broke out because of this.



But on Christmas Eve, a little before twelve, he gave his real gift --- an engagement ring! Or, a post-engagement ring… or a marriage ring? Anyway, he gave me the ring to symbolize our promise and to remind me that we indeed came to terms about our engagement.

It wasn’t the traditional kind with wine and roses and sweet words and fireworks. It was in a car with two people graced with acceptance of each other and who knew in their hearts that they were willing to work things out with the other no matter what. It was just a simple conversation and deep connections. And that the ring came after --- when they had enough money saved and had more than extra. And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

When my friends, daughter or granddaughter ask me, excitedly, how did Mark/Tatay/Lolo propose, I would smile, and say, “Well, he proposed after we got married…”